Edition!Ten Things That Annoy Me About…..
February 24th, 2008 by Two-Wheel-Steve
…… Foreign People Who Have Learnt English As A Second Language
I speak to people online quite regularly and it’s pleasing to hear how keen many of them are to be able to speak English properly, but there are some things which really do get my goat. Now, I can’t speak any other languages, so far be it from be to put these people down…. but they really can drive you up the wall!
- English people don’t have “Afternoon Tea”, “High Tea”, “Supper” or have a butler.
- We don’t give two hoots about what some member of the Royal Family has done, we don’t give a stuff who William or Harry are dating or shooting and we couldn’t give a stuff about Diana any more – yeah, it was sad, but ten years ago, most people can’t even remember her!
- We never say “Fish ‘n’ Chips” or x ‘n’ y for anything. The word is “AND” ‘n’ that is the bloody word we use. The only exception to this is Rock ‘n’ Roll
- NOBODY says “TFI Friday” – you’ve picked this up from somewhere and think it’s a phrase. You all do it. Stop.
- “Quite much” isn’t a phrase we use. It’s “pretty much” or “a lot”. That’s it. End of discussion.
- Just because it says it in the dictionary doesn’t mean we use it all the time, if ever. Try listening to real people talking; if someone who speaks English all day every day tells you something you’ve said is “not the way we say it” don’t try and prove them wrong! We speak the language and have done, in most cases, for longer than you have been alive! Stop trying to make things fit rules – the real English doesn’t stick to rules, it’s not Physics, it’s an Art!
- Get your prepositions sorted out and use common sense! You don’t read things IN a page of a book, so why would you read something IN a webpage. You follow a course to it’s conclusion by walking or driving ON it, so when you are following a course in education, bloody be “on” that too. I guess that’s the Americans sodding it up.
- I probably hate the “English” shows you like to watch on TV. That’s because most of our TV is far evolved from the crap most European TV stations churn out. That’s why you buy our old shows and we don’t buy any of yours. We are sophisticated in our viewing
- A multicoloured scarf here will make everyone think you are gay. Don’t bring it.
- If we want to “hate” the French and Germans, let us! Your country probably hates another country too, in a humorous manner. deal with it!
All I will say is that I totally agree with point 3 here, in that I don’t necessarily agree with the way in which the Americans try to ruin our language, for example “Monday thru’ Friday” instead of “Monday to Friday”, “fish ‘n’ chips” instead of “fish and chips” and “trash can” instead of “dustbin”. I totally agree with you, Steve, in that there doesn’t really seem to be anything British about this country any more, and, besides which, though, I am totally opposed to the way that our country is becoming far too Americanised for my liking and there’s no need for it. Personally, I think that we should go back to the days of the good old test card and music as there is nothing much on our screens any longer.
Gosh Steve, if we didn’t know what a sweet, charming and cuddly chap you are, we might take all this seriously. But your real love of our friends from across the seas is too thinly-disguised.
Yes, Quentin, but then again the people who were born in this country are all British and also we have to respect the fact that not everybody likes the same things, whether we appreciate them or not, but then again we have to respect people’s nationalities, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, creed, disability, age and continuous characteristics. Everybody is an individual and different to each other and life would most definitely be boring if we were all the same, let’s put it that way.